The Bicycle and Floating Club

The Duggar Family

2008-07-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, and Jennifer.

On bicycles.

The Babysitting Job - Ch. 5 part 1

2008-07-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

The Bicycle and Floating Club be poor. Being a detective wasn’t the most lucrative job in Seaside Town as the girls were usually paid in smiles and compliments. The gang decided they would get summer jobs so they no longer had to live on ramen noodles and Aunt Sassy’s free mintz pies. They were so over mintz pies.

“I’m tired of their lack of nutritional value,” said Jessie.
“I miss my fine bottled waters,” added Lindsey.
“I’m sick of blowing money on SuperLotto tickets," chimed Sarah.
“I’m tired of floating on the corner,” said Cathy.

Luckily for the gang, the Duggars were going on a family trip to Seaside Town Del Sur, Mexico and needed babysitters to help watch all of their kids. The Duggars have seventeen children and are the largest family in Seaside Town. The gang was to watch Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, and Jennifer while Mr. And Mrs Duggar had time alone to do fun things like rent paddle boats.

All twenty three of them arrived at Seaside Town Airport to find that their flight had been overbooked by one seat. The airline attendant asked if anyone would mind taking an airline credit but no one volunteered as Seaside Town Del Sur was very desirable at this time of year and no one wanted to cancel their trip. The stewardess suggested that Cathy float from the outside of the plane to make room for all the guests. Cathy complied, although she was not happy about missing the in-flight movie.

Jessie said, “But at least you won’t have to listen to the crying Duggars.”
“And the movie is They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” said Sarah.
“Waaaaaaaaaaah” cried some Duggar.
“Did anyone bring an anorak?” asked Cathy.

After some rough patches caused by thunder storms near the Gulf, the plane and Cathy landed safely in Mexico. The Duggars grabbed all 30 of their bags and the Club grabbed their bikes at baggage claim (Cathy used this time to dry off under the hand dryer in el baño). Mr. Duggar announced that they booked two rooms at the Shangri-La Resort. The Duggar kids were happy. They loved the Shangri-La Resort because it had a pool and elevators. The Bicycle and Floating Club had never been to the Shangri-La but it sounded very fun. They all arrived at the resort and the Club unloaded all the bags in their room so they could get a head start on putting sunscreen on all of the Duggar children. This was a long process. The Duggars went through many bottles on sunscreen so Jessie decided to stop at the resort sundry shop to purchase some more SPF 75.

"What lovely trinkets you have in your shop," commented Jessie.
"Thank you," said the shop owner, "You should take a look at our collections of sand in commerative glass bottles. They are flying off the shelves."

Jessie did not want the sand but she did purchase a giant sombrero to shield her from the sun. When she returned, the rest of the Club mentioned that Mr. and Mrs. Duggar rented ATVs and wouldn't be back until dinner. They had some time to kill until then so the kids all went in the pool. All the hotel guests were annoyed by the seventeen splashing kids and the lifeguard was very irritated.

"Well, we don't want to make all the lifeguards mad with all the Duggars in the pool." said Jessie.

There was no where else to swim. Most of the guests left the pool when the Duggars started their Marco Polo game. There were too many fish out of water and one cannot enjoy Cold Sassy Tree when there are fish out of water. The Shangri-La patrons all put down their books and went back inside the hotel.

After the kids were done with the pool, they all went back to the rooms to get ready for dinner. To their dismay, they returned to their rooms to find someone had rummaged through all 30 of the bags!

"Oh no! Someone broke into our rooms!" said Jessie.
"My graphing calculator is missing!" yelled Sarah.
"And someone stole all of our wallets!" added Lindsey.
"Phew, my anorak is still here," said Cathy, "Wait, no. That's a garbage bag... Aw, peas!"

The girls could not think of any possible suspects as the Duggar kids had irritated the entire resort population.

"Why would anyone want to steal our stuff?" asked Cathy.
"Well, the kids ruined a lot of chapters of Cold Sassy Tree for many people today. Of course they are mad." reasoned Sarah.
"That's no reason to steal." argued Lindsey.
"Well, you can't mess with a classic." said Mr. Duggar as he and a sunburned Mrs. Duggar entered the room.
"We heard what happened." stated Mrs. Duggar as she applied Solarcaine to her face.
"But how?" asked the gang.
"We can hear our kids miles away. We were in the next pueblo on the ropes course when we heard about the theft." said Mr. Duggar.

The girls decided to speak with Guermillo, the hotel manager, about the break-in but he wasn't much help as he just blamed it on the maids. The girls then decided to speak with the maids about Guermillo's accusations. The maids denied having any involvement with the lost items but asked the girls if they had looked under the bed - because that's where you look when you lose things.

"We made so many enemies by the pool today. The suspects are endless." said Sarah.
"We can solve this, gang. How many people by the pool today would want our wallets? We barely had any money in them." argued Jessie.
"But collectively we had a lot of pesos." mentioned Cathy.
"But what about my graphing calculator?" asked Sarah.
"Well, then the suspect needs to do math." said Cathy.
"Well, that eliminates the lifeguard." laughed Lindsey.
"Wait a minute... I got it!" yelled Jessie.

"To the Sea Doos!" said the gang in unison.
"But you're on land." said some stray Duggar.
"Quiet, Duggar." quipped Cathy.
"To the Sea Doos!" said the gang in unison again with gusto.

To Be Continued...

The Soup Sculpture - Chapter 4

2008-02-23T15:29:00.000-08:00

After all festivities of Lindsey's birthday, the Bicycle and Floating Club needed some R&R and headed to the hot springs in St. Desert Palmville. The mud baths and colonics were heavenly and even Penny, Lindsey's oversized Bernese Mountain dog, got her nails and fur did. They returned to Seaside Town rejuvenated and ready for the upcoming Canary Celebration. Not only were the canaries helpful to the Bicycle and Floating Club, they were becoming a huge commodity and Seaside Town's economy was thriving from their greatest export.

Mayor Shubert announced that Main Street would be shut down and turned into a carnival for the celebration. Famed Seaside Town architect Mr. Duclos erected a sculpture out of soup cans in homage to the town's greatest architectural achievement - The Burrito Dome. It took Duclos eleven years to finish the sculpture. On the eve of the Canary Celebration, all the townspeople went to see the lighting of the soup sculpture. Even unknown businessmen in fine Italian suits showed up to view it. Meredith, the Canary Celebration Pageant Queen, was ready to plug in the lights.

"Isn't the soup can sculpture magnificient?" said Sarah.

"It sure is. And it consists of my favorite soup flavor." said Jessie.

"Cabbage soup, yummmm." said the girls in unison.

All of a sudden a loud engine roar was getting closer and closer to Main Street.

"What is that?" asked Cathy.

"I don't know. But it sounds like its coming from N. Main Street." added Lindsey.

The girls turned to look up the street and saw a white object zig zagging at rapid speed all over the road.

"Oh no!" screamed Jessie, "Is that who I think it is?"

"Let me get a better look." said Cathy, who floated up to the height of the lampost to get a better view.

The object was now identifiable as a vehicle and was still swerving all over the road.

Cathy yelled, "Its a golf cart. It looks as though its driving on the wrong side of the road. It must be - "

"Rockin' Koriakin!" they said in unison.

Rockin' Koriakin was the town troublemaker. Whenever she drank too many bottles of Dewar's an accident was bound to happen. For example, the time she entered the Seaside County Olympics in the track and field event and took out her own team by knocking over the hurdles. Or the time she accidently filled half of the Sea Doos with Dewar's instead of gasoline and they all sank.

"What do we do?" said Sarah.

"We have to tell the Mayor to call off the lighting quickl-" said Jessie.

But it was too late. Rockin' drove the cart straight through the soup sculpture, sending thousands of soup cans flying all over Main Street.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" yelled Duclos.

All of the townsepeople gasped.

"Eleven years i've spent making this! Eleven years!" he cried.

"Oops. My bad." said Rockin.

"Now the Canary Celebration is ruined!" he said.

"It's cool. I can pick up all the cans and put it back together if you want. Whatevs." Rockin' added.

"And the town didn't even get to see it lit! And Meredith didn't get to fulfill her Pageant Queen duties! " said Duclos.

"She can still light it. And you'd feel better with a Dewar's." said Rockin'.

Jessie noticed that they hadn't seen Meredith since before the crash.

"Speaking of Meredith, where did she go? She was right here." asked Jessie.

"I don't know but she wouldn't leave her post in a time like this."said Lindsey.

"You guys! From up here I can see something very strange is happening." yelled Cathy.

"What do you see up there, Cathy?" asked Sarah.

"It looks like those men in Italian suits have her! I can see them taking her down the street! She needs our help!" said Cathy.

"To the bicycles!" they yelled in unison.

"Ah snarf!"said Cathy, who realized she still had to float because of her flat tire, "To the air!"

The girls rode furiously down the street with Cathy floating behind. The girls could see they were gaining on the men.

"We're almost there! Pedal faster!" yelled Lindsey.

"We have to save the Canary Celebration Pageant Queen!" said Sarah.

The girls caught up the men as they were getting into a limousine.

"Stop! Let Meredith go!" said Jessie.

"Hahaha. Only if you get us what we want!" said a businessman.

"Help!" screamed Meredith.

"What do you want, businessmen?" asked Cathy.

"We want your canaries! We are tired of Seaside Town monopolizing the canary market! The demand for canaries is off the charts in domestic and foriegn markets. It's time we get a piece of the action!" said a businessman.

"Never!" said Lindsey.

"Oh well, then I guess we are going to have to take your Canary Celebration Pageant Queen with us!" said another businessman.

"No you won't!" yelled Sarah.

"You can't get away with this!" screamed Jessie.

The girls tried to grab for Meredith but the men pushed her into the limo. As they got in, they rolled down the window to say, "Oh and good luck trying to catch us, crater face."

Just then they revved up their engine until the gusts from the exhaust turned into a tornado and drove off.

"Let's get them!"said Sarah.

"I can't seem to move." added Lindsey.

"That was no regular exhaust pipe!" said Cathy.

"You know what that is?" yelled Jessie.

" A wind manufactured tornado!" they screamed in unison.

Just then the girls realized Cathy had been blown blocks away.

"What do we do?!" asked Sarah.

"We can't call the canaries for help because they cannot withstand the tornando!" said Jessie.

"There's only one person in Seaside town who can outrun a tornado! Rockin' Koriakin!" said Lindsey.

The girls rode back to Main Street away from the direction of the tornado (and they found Cathy on their way back stuck in some electric lines). They arrived just in time to see the police putting Rockin' Koriakin into the back of a squad car.

"Stop! Don't arrest her!" yelled Lindsey.

"Seaside Town is in trouble and Rockin' is the only one who can save it! The businessmen created a wind manufactured tornado to stop us from saving Meredith. They are holding her ransom for all the town's canariess!" said Jessie.

The canaries gasped.

"Rockin' is the fastest person in town and can outrun the tornado to get to the limousine!" added Lindsey.

"But she is so drunk!" complained Duclos.

"No, she is three sheets to the wind. She is faster this way!" said Sarah.

The mayor ordered the police let Rockin' out of the car.

"Can you try and outrun that tornado, Rockin'?" asked Mayor Schubert.

"Ummmmmm yea. It's cool. I can do that. It's a tornado. They aren't that fast. Whatevs." replied Rockin'.

"Go!" yelled the town.

Rockin' Koriakin took off towards the tornado and the town people waited anxiously. Aunt Sassy arrived with hundreds of mintz pies to help alleviate the town's nervousness.

"I'm sorry canaries. This was a case you were gonna have to sit out. You aren't condors. Your little wings wouldn't have made it. " said Jessie to the loyal canaries.

The canaries did not appreciate Jessie's condescending comment in a time like this and flipped her the bird. Just then, Cathy noticed something making its way down Main Street.

"I see something!" she said.

As that something got closer the town began to cheer.

"It's Rockin' Koriakin and Meredith!" said Cathy.

"Thanks. We know. We can see for ourselves." said a still angry Duclos.

"You did it Rockin'! You saved the Canary Celebration!" said Lindsey.

"After ruining it." chimed Duclos.

"How did you stop them?" asked Jessie.

"Well, ummmmm. I just ran and saw the limo which was cool. And then grabbed Meredith or something. I dunno. I don't remember. It wasn't a big deal." said Rockin'

"But how did you stop the businessmen?" asked Cathy.

"Ummmm I dunno. I asked them if they wanted a Dewar's and they said they didn't drink Dewar's." she said.

The town gasped.

"Then I said 'Give me back our Pageant Queen!' And I don't remember the rest. I wasn't really paying attention. But they did say this war isn't over. I'm supposed to tell you all that." she added.

The canaries chirped in fear.

"Don't worry loyal canaries. Hush, hush keep it down now. Chirps carry." Said Jessie

Everyone was happy to get the Pageant Queen back and because of Rockin's bravery she was granted the honor of co-architect in the making of the next soup sculpture. Duclos was not very pleased. The Bicycle and Floating Club enjoyed the weekend's festivities but knew that the businessmen would soon be back.

And that's why you don't eat sushi when you're pregnant.

The End.

The History of Dewar's in Seaside Town

2008-02-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

Some of early Seaside Town founders enjoying a Dewar's.

There is nothing more popular in Seaside Town than Dewar's. There is a week long celebration called "Dewar's Days" that began as a celebration to the end of the Prohibition. Everyone over the age of 15 in Seaside Town is permitted to drink Dewar's - as long as its neat. You can only drink it neat.

The Piñata - Chapter 3

2008-02-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Its not all hard work for The Bicycle and Floating Club. After the May Day debacle it was time to let loose. Luckily, it was time for Lindsey's Sweetciñera birthday celebration. In Seaside Town, a girl's sweetciñera is a very big deal. Lindsey's parents had planned for a huge party and rented out the most lavish venue in town - the Burrito Dome. The Burrito Dome could hold up to 200,000 people. Mr. and Mrs. Lindsey's Parents weren't expecting that many attendees but the whole town was invited as well as all the people in neighboring towns that the Club had helped in the past. Earl Swensen, the most prized designer in Seaside town made the most beautiful white gown for the event. Lindsey had always dreamt of wearing a gown like this to her sweetciñera and now it was coming true. All of the plans for the event had been finalized, the Burrito Dome was stocked with Dewar's and the day had finally come. Jessie, Cathy and Sarah wore matching green gowns in sweetciñera tradition. They had even saved up reward money to buy Lindsey a fancy new bicycle. Lindsey's bicycle was beginning to rust from all the coastal town's fog. Cathy had wished it was her sweetciñera because she of all people needed a new bike. She had been floating for weeks and was getting rather tired of the wind burn and ear popping.

The event kicked off with a musical performance from former American Idol contestants Nikki McKibbin, Gina Glockson, and Amanda Overmyer, who had formed the all girl group 'The Black Velvets'. Naturally they performed the American Idol kiss-of- death song "Black Velvet". The town was feeling it but thought they sounded a little pitchy.

Jessie said, "They should get rid of their chunky highlights."

And the rest of the club agreed (except Cathy, who really couldn't see the stage too well because of the wind burn).

The chef for the evening, Morgs DuPont had prepared a lovely organic spinach salad with a filet of salmon. All the townspeople loved the meal and complimented Morgs on the texture of the filet. Mr. and Mrs. Lindsey's Parents soon announced that they had a special surprise for Lindsey.

"If everyone could gather around the dance floor we have a surprise present for the sweetciñera girl." said Mr. Lindsey's Parents.

The guests rushed to get a good view in front. Just then a very large object lowered from the top of the dome. There were a lot of 'ooohs' and 'ahhhhs'.

"What could it be?" asked Sarah.
"I don't know but it sure is colorful." said Jessie.
"Really? I'm just getting blurry" said Cathy.

As the object lowered closer and closer the crowd, it soon became apparent that it was a piñata. And not just any piñata but the prettiest and most colorful piñata one could ever imagine.

"Wow! I can't believe I got a piñata!"said Lindsey.
"It's so beautiful!" chimed Sarah.
"I don't know what a piñata is." said Cathy.

Mrs. Lindsey's Parents brought a blindfold and a 2x4 over to Lindsey to kick off the festivities. Lindsey was ready to swing the 2x4 when Jessie had noticed something seemed off with the piñata.

"Wait! Don't swing! Something is wrong with that piñata!" yelled Jessie.
"But that's not possible! We just bought it." said Mr. Lindsey's Parents.
"I see it!" said Sarah, "There's a giant hole in it!"

And there was. There wasn't any candy in the special piñata.

"How can this be? We saw the shopspeople put the candy in." said Mrs. Lindsey's Parents.
"Who would want to sabotage your sweetciñera, Lindsey?" asked Cathy.
"I bet it was Hannah Hoosier. She has had it out for me ever since Aunt Sassy and I won the Seaside Town Pie Baking Contest. She thinks her mintz pies should have won!" said Lindsey.
"No, Hannah Hoosier is on vacation in the Ozarks." said Sarah.
"I heard she won a blue ribbon in the one-ski waterskiing competition. So she should be over the Pie Baking Contest now."said Jessie,"Who would want to steal all that candy?"
"I don't know but it would have to be someone who loves candy and wants it all to themselves or hates it." said Cathy.
"I want Dewar's all to myself." chimed Mayor Schubert
"Me too!" murmured the town's policemen.
"Hmmmm, hates it?" pondered Jessie.
"Only a hippie health nut hates candy." said Sarah.
"And....and Morgs Dupont!" yelled Jessie.
"To the industrial kitchen!" they yelled in unison.

The gang ran back the the kitchen to find the one person in Seaside Town that hated candy. Just then they saw Morgs DuPont trying to make his getaway.

"Stop, Dupont!" yelled Sarah.
"We know it was you!" said Cathy.
"Why would you want to ruin my sweetciñera!" asked Lindsey.
"Ruin your sweetciñera? How about you ruining my slow foods campaign!" he retaliated, "I've spent countless hours forming and sustaining seed banks to preserve heirloom varieties in cooperation with local food systems, educating our townspeople about the risks of monoculture and reliance on too few genomes or varieties, lobbying for the inclusion of organic farming concerns within agricultural policy, encouraging ethical buying in local marketplaces, and preparing your sweetciñera menu! You were going to drop thousands of candy bars and sweets into the crowd and ruin me!"
"Are you some type of hippie freak?" asked Mr. Lindsey's Parents.
"But this is Lindsey's special party! You can't just go around sabotaging town festivites." said Jessie.
"Oh really, metal mouth? Sweetciñeras in this town are done! I'm putting a stop to them!" he yelled as he made his way out the door.

Cathy was panicked. She would never get a new bike if Morgs DuPont stopped sweetciñeras.

"We can't let him get away!" she yelled.

Jessie knew what she had to do. They couldn't leave Lindsey's party but had to stop DuPont. She called for her loyal canaries.

"There you are loyal canaries, I haven't seen you in hours. Were you by the bar?" she asked.

The canaries bobbed their heads in an indeterminable manner.

"I need you to be carrier pidgeons and take this message to the policemen." she said.

The canaries were miffed and did not appreciate the condescending analogy. One of the canaries threw a glass with rage.

"I mean, I need you be carrier canaries and take this message to the policemen." she restated.

The canaries understood the urgency and flew with speed through the Burrito Dome to find some sober policemen. Luckily, they found three rookies who were not allowed to drink and rushed out to find Morgs DuPont. The gang decided they would proceed with the party as they couldn't let the empty piñata ruin Lindsey's sweetciñera. The club decided to unveil their gift to Lindsey and when she wasn't looking, wheeled in a brand new shiny bike with a big red bow on it.

"This is the best gift and the best sweetciñera ever!" she cried.

They all danced as the Black Velvets took the stage and brought the house down with an encore.
Later that night, the rookie policemen returned to tell the gang they had locked up Morgs DuPont. The town rejoiced as they were free from worrying about sweetciñeras ever being ruined again. Cathy was especially happy.

And that's why you don't pick up hitchhikers.

The End.

The loyal canaries

2008-02-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

Loyal friends to the girls, the canaries range from age 2 to 16. They are smart and quick witted although sometimes they think they know more than the club. They don't. They are fucking canaries.

May Day - Chapter 2

2008-02-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

It was a big week for the Junior Detective Bicycle and Floating Club, after their good work solving the case of the missing canaries and goldfish the mayor of their seaside town, Horace Schubert, made them honorary judges in the Annual May Day Boat Parade. May Day was a big holiday in their town. In fact, it was such a big holiday that all the towns shops were closed and Aunt Sassy made enough mintz pies for the town population. And it was also required that all town citizen's wear black to celebrate - in fact, most of the men wore tuxedos. Jessie was a little weary of the holiday as all the police officers in town had the day off and for some reason no one seemed to worry about the community's safety.

Cathy however, was the most worried as the big gusts of wind off the water that propelled the very festive sailboats would not be as kind to her floating capabilities. In previous May Day celebrations, she had been minding her own business and happily floating near the shore when a large gust of wind took her out to sea getting her entangled in one of the boat's headsails. Luckily, the gang would jump on their Sea-doos and come to her rescue. Well, thankfully this year our girls would be stationary on the dock judging the boats. The parade begin and the town cheered joyfully. Nothing like a line of boats to get a town going.

Mayor Schubert announced the first boat that went by... "Ladies and Gentleman of Seaside town, please welcome Boat #1."

Everyone clapped. It was a spectacular boat and it had a colorful flag too. The next boat went by wasn't as nice but it had a fun name - The S.S Stutter.

Lindsey said, "How clever. Write that number down".

The next boat had something very strange about it. It was actually not even a sailboat but a dingy! And it was made of seashells. Captain Seaskull O'Hoolihan paddled from its steer.

"There is something strange about that boat. How is it floating?" Asked Sarah.

"I don't know but look at the yacht at the end of the line, it looks like its sinking!" said Jessie. And sinking it was. This was a party yacht and no one on board seemed to notice they were slowly lowering into the sea as they had had too many glasses of Dewar's to drink.

"Somebody call the police! That boat is sinking!" yelled the Mayor.

"The police aren't working today! And they are all on that boat!" screamed Jessie.

That was true.

"We have to do something!" yelled Sarah.

"To the Sea-Doos" they yelled in unison.

The gang jetted through the water on their Sea-Doos (except Cathy, who was being pulled from the back like a parasailor without the parachute). They arrived to the party yacht as it struggled to stay afloat.

"What in the chicken nugget is going on?" said a drunken police officer.

"You're boat is sinking and there's Dewar's bottles flying into the water!" said Lindsey.

Sarah pulled her Sea-Doo to the front of the boat. Something was not right.

"You guys it looks like someone cut out a big piece of this ship!"

"Who would do that?" asked the drunken police officer.

The girls thought for a second and then remembered the floating seashell dingy!

"I knew there was something not right about that dingy!" exclaimed Jessie, "We gotta stop O'Hoolihan! But first - we need to help the party boat!"

Just then, Jessie whistled to her faithful canaries.

"Hello loyal canaries, please be doves and help- i mean please be canaries and help me rescue these sinking party goers."

Although the canaries were miffed about the dove comment they went on their way to help. And did they. Just then a bigger and grander rescue yacht stocked full of Dewar's sailed in. There were even more party goers on this yacht that pulled all the drunk police officers on board as the sinking ship made its way into to the depths of the deep blue sea.

"Phew," said the gang.

"Good thing those canaries called in the rescue party yacht." said Lindsey.

"And good thing the police officers got their Dewar's" said Sarah.

The gang was relieved but their work was far from done. Cathy, who was floating way up in the air above the Sea-Doos, could see O'Hoolihan trying to make a getaway in his dingy.

"You guys! O'Hoolihan is trying to get away!".

They revved up the Sea Doos and zipped down the shoreline past the Mayor and judging table and towards the old abandoned lighthouse. It was easy for them to catch the paddling Captain.

"STOP, O'Hoolihan! We know it was you who ruined the party yacht for the benefit of your seashell boat!"cried Lindsey.

"I did no such thing!" He yelled back. "

Yes you did! Why would you endanger all those police officers to win a blue ribbon in a parade?" asked Cathy.

"The fabric in the May Day Parade prize ribbon matches the decor' in my living room perfectly and I really wanted to use the ribbon as an accent on the pillow shams on my couch," said the Captain, "The only other place you can get it is Bangladesh. I traveled to a sweatshop there and was brutally attacked by a guard tiger in my pursuit. How do think I got this wooden leg?"

"Oh" said the girls.

"Well, we are willing to give you the blue ribbon but we also have to turn you in." said Jessie.

He said, "It's worth it four eyes, for the perfect sham. It's worth it."

The neighborhood Watch sailed in and arrested the Captain in the police's abscence and the rest of the day went on without a problem.

From now on the Mayor decided to to not give the police May Day off. And they threw a mintz pie in his face.

And that's why mom always said don't play ball in the house.

The End

The Beginning - Chapter 1

2008-02-16T14:58:00.001-08:00

One day the Bicycle Club decided to ride their bikes through the small seaside town - Cathy's bike had a flat tire, so she decided to float beside them instead. They were headed towards the abandoned lighthouse when they noticed something didn't seem right at Mr. Wuliver's pet shop. They saw that the store's door had been busted open and all the canaries and gold fish were missing. Jessie pulled her flashlight out of her knapsack to look for clues. She noticed a bright blue fingerprint on the cash register.

"Gee whiz, It almost looks like the blue chalk on a pool cue." she said.

They all looked at each other and in unison said, "The Ole' Billiards Barn!"

Whomever broke in to the shop had to be connected to the pool hall or an avid pool player.

'But what would he want with all those canaries and fish?" asked Sarah.

"Maybe its Sylvester the Cat " said Lindsey.

"Stop joking around you guys! These pets could be in serious trouble!" shouted Jessie.

"Let's get a move on to the Ole' Billiards Barn and see if there is anything fishy!" said Lindsey.

The group chuckled a little but Jessie found it was too soon to make a pun out of possibly dead goldfish. They grabbed some yarn from the kitten toy section so they could pull floating Cathy from the back of their bikes. The girls made their way down the path to the billiards hall. When they pulled up to the pool hall, they parked their bikes next to the rock quarry. The walked into the Ole’ Barn and saw the usual characters. Captain Seaskull O’Hoolihan was sitting in his regular seat by the dart board. He stared at the girls as they look for possible suspects.

“I don’t like the looks of this.” said Sarah.

“It’s getting late and Aunt Sassy says we have to be back for dinner.” added Lindsey.

“I miss the ground” chimed Cathy.

The Captain got up and asked, “Are you here about the canaries and goldsfish?”

“How do you know about Mr. Wuliver’s shop?” asked Jessie.

“I know everything that goes on in this seaside town. And it looks like the storms a’ comin’. You girls better be on your way.” he said.

Just then Miss Big Bones, the Captain’s St. Bernard barked.

“Wait a minute,” said Lindsey, “You got Miss Big Bones as a puppy, right?”

“Yes?” said the Captain.

“But not from Mr. Wuliver?” quipped Sarah.

"No, I got her from the breeder.” he said.

“And that breeder wouldn’t happen to be Mr. Guliver?! Mr. Wuliver’s rival pet dealer!” asked Jessie.

“What’s it matter to you?” he asked.

“Because canaries and goldfish are the only pets that Mr. Wuliver has in his shop that Mr. Guliver doesn’t breed.” replied Lindsey.

This was true. And in this seaside town and all seaside towns canaries and goldfish were the most popular pets. The girls went off to Mr. Guliver’s to try and find the missing animals. When the gang arrived at Guliver’s house they saw he had wet suitcases with yellow feathers sticking out.

“Stop, Guliver! We know it was you that broke into Mr. Wuliver’s pet store.” yelled Sarah.

“You can’t prove it, you’re just a bunch of kids!” he said.

“But I’m not.” Chimed the Sheriff, who arrived in the nick of time.

“Not you Sheriff! I’m innocent. How do you know it wasn’t those girls who broke into the shop?!” said Guliver.

“Why these girls wouldn’t break into anything but your heart.” said the sheriff.

“Awwwwwww” chirped the canaries.

“Quiet you canaries! Not one more peep outta you!” yelled Guliver.

“Why would you want to steal a bunch of canaries and goldfish?” asked the sheriff.

“Because they were the only pets Guliver didn’t have.” added Cathy

“They were going to be my fortune!” he cried.

“Fortune? How?” They all asked.

“How? By returning to Prague and trading them for deutschmark checks which I’d exchange on the blackmarket. Obviously.” He said.

“Oh.” They said in unison.

The sheriff arrested Mr. Guliver and the girls brought all the goldfish and canaries back to a grateful Mr. Wuliver. The pets cheered with glee.

“There, there young canaries. Everything’s going to be alright. Everything’s going to be alllllright.” Said Jessie.

The girls got on their bicycles (except Cathy) and made it home in time to enjoy Aunt Sassy’s homemade mintz pie.

And that’s why you don’t leave the air conditioner on.

The End.